I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize