She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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