Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
