you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
