You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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