Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
