You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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