I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
