dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
