Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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