Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
