he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
