Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
