those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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