Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
