Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
