About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
