No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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