It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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