if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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