Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize