im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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