Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I'm really busy with my period
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