well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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