I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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