You can't motorboat a personality
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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