I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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