I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
