I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
