i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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