I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
