Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
