i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
