He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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