I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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