Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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