when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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