Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
