I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
