I got chris browned last night
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Panties = found
Randomize
