Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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