I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She announced her abortion via fbk
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
