i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
