I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize