so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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