He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
