Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
