We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize
