Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I came so hard my ears popped.
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