im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
