someone get that fucking seahorse.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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