So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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