I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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