Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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