Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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