Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
