did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
