i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize